So long, this year.
A last-minute reflection on 2024.
I hope this end-of-year note finds you healthy, happy, and ready to face the passage of time with as much grace as you see fit.
Needless to say, November felt like a challenging month… I know I was not the only person struggling to nurture optimism, creativity, and joy to finish out the year. December flew by despite every attempt to feel present and live in the moment. But here we are! We did it. Thanks for your patience as I’m emerging from my quiet den of recuperation.
As I talked with my therapist this morning, we realized that this year has marked a seemingly bigger transition for me than I had initially thought. Personally, I’ve established some new boundaries and found some new confidence, tapping into a positive energy I hadn’t felt in a long time. I finally got a diagnosis for my “mystery illness” that had been plaguing me for years and got approved for a medication that has made a positive impact on my quality of life in just two doses. I’ve traveled on two continents, successfully expanded my diet, found a new miracle running shoe brand I’ll keep rebuying till they go under, and have knit more finished objects this year than the last five years I’ve been knitting combined. I finally feel like I have connections and friends where I live after feeling afloat for a long time (thanks, Jersey City Stitch Society!). It’s important to stop and recognize these things, especially if you are the type of person to compare yourself to others or someone who feels like they just have to keep moving ahead. What have you accomplished personally that makes you proud? Me, I like soup now!
Professionally, I’ve been able to be a part of some cool classes and development opportunities. Most importantly, I finally found the courage to leave the toxic day job that had burned me out for six years. I can’t overstate how scary it was to leave without a solid 9-5 lined up. It was terrifying to have to shore up a safety net that I hoped will catch me but I wasn’t 110% sure of. If there’s anything I’ve learned from this experience, it’s to trust your gut. I justified needing to keep this job for years even as my subconscious mind and body were yelling at me to go. It was only when I stopped to really listen to my gut that I was capable and ready to make change; I am fortunate to have a support system who unconditionally had my back through the messy process of the decision. Of course, I’ll never encourage anyone to do anything truly impulsive and foolish — but do not keep that which is not serving you. Since leaving, I have slept better at night and no longer am in physical pain every day. I’ve also been able to make space for new opportunities that would have never had time to do otherwise. I’m proud of myself for being brave.
Change is scary. I’m one of the most sentimental people in the world— I’ll likely spend the rest of the 31st feeling intensely nostalgic, weeping to Auld Lange Syne, blubbering to my dog and my husband how grateful I am to be here in this moment, alive with them at the same time that mozzarella sticks also exist. I don’t like to rush ahead, blindly and impulsively, without thinking things through or feeling like I’ve savored and paid adequate respect to what has been. (That’s why I love the Konmari method, I suppose.) It’s scary to let go and move forward into the unfamiliar, but it’s the growing pains that make us stand a little taller and hold our heads a little higher.
I wish you nothing but health, wealth, and love in the year ahead. Thank you for supporting me as I figure out what this space is and wants to be — and thank you for inadvertently helping me believe that I have things that deserve to be said.
Reflections on Theatre
And now the artistic part of this newsletter! This is an artistically focused Substack, so it only makes sense to reflect on a bit of the theatre I engaged with in 2024.
I had the privilege of not only working on some wonderful new pieces of theatre this year, but also being able to attend so many amazing performances! I am so grateful for the company of the friends who joined me at many of those shows - special shoutout to my friend Bella, who popped into New York for a few days (all the way from Sydney) and invited me to see Stereophonic with her! Theatre has a beautiful way of bringing people together, not only within the team backstage or through the performer-audience relationship, but also through the gift of time it allows you to indulge in as you enjoy someone else’s company for a few hours. Living in the shadow of New York City and in the rich artistic scene of New Jersey, there is no shortage of things to see. I always wish theatre was more financially accessible, but I’ve managed to find some really great free, low-cost, and discount deals to get me in the door.
The trends of rising and seemingly uncapped ticket prices and the frequent green-lighting of existing IP into musicals do trouble me, but not so much as the thought of what will happen to the arts as the economy likely contracts and we move under a conservative government that is intent on curbing free expression. At least there was *some* goodwill effort to support those who lost their arts jobs in 2020 due to the COVID-19 outbreak, but what of the artists who are not “professional” enough to qualify? What will become of the art under censorship? What will we see in response to this new era of uncertainty we are clumsily stumbling into?
These are some of the works I’m still thinking about as I leave the year behind. Here’s to more boundary pushing, resonant, DIY, theatre with heart in 2025.
Cabaret
The Cabaret revival that is still taking over the renovated August Wilson Theater (as the Kit Kat Club) was the best thing I could have seen as my final New York theatre excursion this year. We got tickets on TDF for the end of November - needless to say, a relevant time to see a revival of Cabaret. Coincidentally, this was the performance designated to honor 97-year-old (!) composer John Kander, who was in attendance to receive his Olivier Award statue. He shared a thoughtful speech lamenting that his show still remains relevant. “Elections have consequences- but I’m not going to let that ruin my night.”
I loved the way that this production was directed and designed. Without sounding too pretentious, the show was perfectly elevated beyond past productions, I think, because it was imbued with a taste of the European theatre aesthetic that is so naturally aligned with the work itself. Adam Lambert was the perfect Emcee - vocally, physically, emotionally. The entire cast - especially Gabi Campo, who was the understudy performer playing Sally Bowles that evening - truly left it all on the stage. The immersive concept REALLY works. If you can make it to the Kit Kat Club, do not miss the chance to do so. It will certainly illuminate many parallels to our social situation and that of the Weimar Republic.
Oversteegen
A theatre artist friend, Megan Tobias, had a reading of her new play Oversteegen at The Tank this summer. I was so honored when she invited me to attend! I think play readings are one of my favorite things I do as a professional artist; I love being able to see work in progress that is coming into its own.
Based on a true story, Oversteegen follows the lives of Freddie and Truus Oversteegen, who were just 14 and 16 when they joined the Dutch Haarlem resistance against Nazi Germany. Later joined by Hannie Schaft, the trio take on jobs smuggling intelligence to the Allied powers, aiding Jewish families in their escapes, and seducing and killing Nazi men. Together they struggle with the reality of what they’ve been asked to do, living with the constant threat of being discovered, and desperately trying to keep true to themselves.
This play was a really excellent way to engage with what we as individual citizens can do to make change and how stand up against what’s wrong. Knowing that the work was based in truth made it so dramatically compelling - especially thanks to the “news leaflet” handout that each member of the audience received, which gave us some deeper context about the story of the real Freddie and Truus. I had not known much about the Dutch resistance movement to Nazi occupation, so I appreciated this play being both intellectually and emotionally engaging. I can’t wait to see where the play goes next.
Bread and Puppet Theatre Circus
“The Beginning After the End of Humanity Circus” came into Jersey City Theater Center in October. I had learned about The Bread and Puppet Theater in my undergrad program, and had always wanted to see Bread and Puppet perform live. The signature ideology of their founder is “Theater… is more like bread, more like a necessity. Puppet theater is the theater of all means.” The circus did not disappoint! The best way I can describe the show is actually in their own words:
The 61-year-old, Vermont-based Bread and Puppet Theater returns with its latest circus! This raucous spectacle attempts to address the heart of the current moment with a bright barrage of acts spanning many moods, from slapstick to the sublime, all powered by a riotous brass band.
Of this year’s show, The Beginning After the End of Humanity Circus, director and founder Peter Schumann reports that there will be “tigers teaching the congress of cowards how to jump over billionaires and acquire the courage to not pay for the atrocities of the latest genocide; the proverbial sheep of the system refusing to be sheep and committing revolution against the system; and the blue horses of the peace and harmony terrorists of the Northeast Kingdom breaking through the wall of threatening clouds that hide the truth from the population and then galloping over the ruins of the truth industry.”
I found the piece provocative, thoughtful, and very creative. I’m glad I was able to see it! If the circus comes to town, allow yourself to experience some cheap, avant-garde puppetry.
Honorable Mentions
Other highlights of 2024 that I have already written about include Here There Are Blueberries, Merrily We Roll Along, and The Magic Flute in Vienna. I also loved An Enemy of the People and personally working on Pieta by Brynn Hambley.
5-4-3-2-1 Favorite Things
I feel like I’m not a true blog writer unless I give some reflection recommendations from what I enjoyed this year. Take what you like and leave the rest!
5 Records
Deeper Well is a studio album by Kacey Musgraves released in March 2024. It may honestly be my favorite album from this year! I have been a fan of hers for years, but talk about hearing the right album at the right time. The production on this record (particularly this song, “Sway”, a personal fave) is lovely. I recommend good headphones or good speakers to get the full effect - my experience listening to it on vinyl left me jaw-dropped. There’s so much you miss on AirPods!
Chappell Roan skyrocketed onto her pop princess throne this year with her 2023 album, but “Red Wine Supernova” remains a favorite. “Pink Pony Club” is so obviously a banger that I shouldn’t even need to say that I like it, but nevertheless!
“Tiny Moves” from the Bleachers self-titled album released March 2024 (Happy Birthday to me!) is my “Girl Who is Going to Be OK” song. They’re one of my favorite bands and this album did not disappoint. If I had to pick a song that felt like it described my year, “I Am Right On Time” is it.
I’m a fairly closeted but committed Swiftie, and I ordered my copy of The Tortured Poets Department as soon as she announced it, which happened to be while I was on my honeymoon. Ha. From an analytic perspective, I have mixed feelings about the album, but I think “The Prophecy” is one of the strongest, most honest pieces of writing she’s done in years. I really loved the strength of “So Long London” and “Clara Bow” as well.
Unreal Unearth, Hozier’s third studio album, technically counts as a 2024 album to me because we saw Hozier on tour with it in June. Andrew never misses. A brilliant concept album. Hearing and watching him play De Selby Part 1 as the sunset faded to twilight outdoors at Forest Hills Stadium was magical. I think he quite literally cast a spell on us when he got to his Gaelic lyrics. And then he transitioned seamlessly into De Selby Part 2 (which also has a killer music video). It rocked.
4 Movies
Wicked (2024) instantly transported me back to the 8 year-old-girl who listened to the Broadway cast recording CD on her portable player, sang “Defying Gravity” in her room, learned all the choreography from YouTube videos, and recorded “One Short Day” and “Popular” on her Samsung flip phone so she could listen to a few of her favorite songs from the show no matter where she went. I cried like 5 times. I went in skeptical, but it was truly that good.
Perfect Days (2023) was my top at-home watch this year. The story follows Hirayama, a custodian in Tokyo who loves his cassette tapes and film camera. This Atlantic article describes the film well: “What’s so remarkable about this film is that it demands your full attention in a way that many modern movies do not. If you doomscroll, even for a minute, you’ll miss an ocean of tiny details.” We love a movie that feels like a warm, soothing bath.
Nosferatu (2024) was probably my most anticipated film of the year. We saw it opening day and oh my god. I am a huge fan of the Dracula story (I read the novel way too young) and have seen a ton of the adaptations, but I love the way this one really sets itself within the Gothic aesthetic and storytelling tradition. It has a great conversation with the cultural context of its setting. The performances were incredible, as were the cinematography and the costumes… I love Robert Eggers.
I had never seen Princess Mononoke (1997) before this year and it was a huge error on my part. If you find yourself in the same boat, do yourself a favor and correct the situation. This is Miyazaki’s most mature and well-rounded story, in my opinion, and a beautiful meditation on humanity’s relationship with nature.
Feel free to follow me on Letterboxd!
3 TV Series
Atlanta (2016-2022) isn’t new to this year, but I truly think this is my favorite television series I watched. It’s so creative and I really wish I could watch it again for the first time. Donald Glover has created a memorable, unique, and authentic story. Just go with it. I love the cinematography and I love that it’s shot on film.
Six Feet Under (2001-2005) filled a few months of watch time in our household, but I’m really glad we took that time. I had never heard of this show despite being pretty caught up on “2000s HBO prestige TV series”, but if you are willing to invest the time into a quirky, macabre, Bush era snapshot of a funeral-home-family in LA, you will be rewarded with some deep reflections on life and death. It explores both the family characters themselves (great intro to Michael C. Hall), but also a meditation on how grief manifests in our lives. Fun!
Succession (2018-2023) had been so hyped up that I forced my journalist husband to stomach a watch so I could understand if everyone was right. I think they were. I wish I had watched the series as it came out— perhaps it would have had more excitement/urgency/impact— but I think both the “political” and the personal conflicts in this show were so well-developed. Great performances from the entire cast.
2 Internet Phenomena
The Sparrow Pack is a family of three Bernese dogs and one old Beagle living in Ireland with their mum and parade of mini-horses. Karen has made daily vlogs of her pack for the last year, but the account is most known for weekly Croissant Fridays and her beagle, Loons, making “falls” in an attempt to be revived by “CP Loons” (fake CPR) for treats. Follow them on Instagram and TikTok @sparrowtherapypack while you still can!
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserRoll for Sandwich has shouldered the burden of carrying an undisclosed amount of my mental health this year. Jake, the creator @AdventuresInAardia on most platforms, has made a 3x weekly “Roll for Sandwich” series, where he rolls TTRPG dice to determine ingredients for his sandwich. I literally get into bed and go, “It’s sandwich day!” and pull up the video. (What can I say? Comfort routines are comfort routines.) He has inspired many spin-off series (Roll for BBQ is my favorite) and I think he’s struck gold. You never know what he’s going to get… like this REAL pickle sandwich from November.
1 Book
The only book I read this year in full was Emily Henry’s Happy Place while I was on my honeymoon. And I freaking loved it. I love her writing style, and I appreciated reading characters who were my age and going through feasibly realistic scenarios! I am slowly working my way through her novel Beach Read. I am embarrassed to admit that I have only read one book cover to cover, so know that I am being honest because I value our relationship, dear reader!
I wish I was a better book reader. I want to ease myself back into it because I used to read books voraciously on my pre-Covid commute, so that was partially the point of starting with more accessible novels. I feel like sometimes my brain fog makes it hard for me to sustain attention to the written word over 150 pages (thanks autoimmune disease). I’ve read parts of various non-fiction books this year, as well as news articles, things for research… however, I do read over 100+ plays a year for both work and leisure, so I feel like I get a bit of a pass. Anyone have any tips? It’s a new year goal for me.
I hope you enjoy your New Year’s celebrations and have a great start to 2025 tomorrow. Cheers!